Toe Trouble
Swearing is bad, full stop. Yet, it seems that when something bad or painful happens -even something funny or of good cheer- some people just speak the sailor’s language. Like most things in life: swearing is a decision. Some people claim that swearing is compulsory in certain cases. News-flash, it isn’t. I repeat, ‘swearing is a decision’. The only problem is that when certain people swear, it spreads an infectious laughter in the people who heard it -depending on the situation.
Scenario; it seems like only yesterday when the boss promised to Skype call you after his board meeting. You are a very likely candidate for a new job in a manager’s position, and the higher salary, nicer people, and closer commuting would be ideal! It was a month ago -though- that the manager promised; he said that you should wait for the call at anything between 2 & 3 pm. He said that the Skype call was just to do one or two final checks and he would tell you if you got the job or not. It is odd though, no business you have worked for has had such a recruiting procedure, but anyhow, you wait for the call.
14:00… You sit on the couch, the computer is prepped in a room just a few steps down the hallway. You want the excitement of rushing down the hall, bursting into the room, and answering the call, out of breath and seeming ready for the good news that you got the job. Nothing yet… waiting…patiently…
14:15… The sheer excitement is starting to wear you down, and you are getting irritated with the fact that the boss didn’t call you at 2pm sharp. Yet, he did promise he would call between 2 & 3. “2 & 3!?” You think, “That leaves a whole 45 minutes till he can call! This is a problem. Hopefully he calls sooner, rather than later.”
14:30… Something rings! You fly off the couch, dart down the small hallway and throw yourself into the chair in front of the laptop, but as you are about to click the answer button, you realise that there is no answer button to click… but there is still something ringing… You realise what it is and you race out of the room and jump over your couch in the lounge to grab your mobile phone on the coffee table. You answer expectantly, but your hopes are soon crashed.
14:31… You speak your best ‘hallo sir, David speaking’ that you can muster into the phone mic, but then the computer generated voice at the other end sounds robotic into your ear, “Hallo, are you insured? Is your family covered..?” You press the ‘end call’ button, annoyed. Vodacom! “That’s what I am trying to do!” You shout at the phone, as if someone can hear you, “I am trying to get a job, so that when I propose to my girlfriend and then marry her [because she wouldn’t say no to a manager] so that I can afford a suitable life insurance!”
Somewhere between 14:40 & 14:50… You sit on the couch with your eyes closed while frustration seeps through your veins as you squeeze your hands into fists. “Where the heck is the bo-!” There… the distinct ringtone of a Skype call! Finally! You jump off the couch, run down the hallway, but as you slow down and enter the room containing the laptop: you stub your smallest toe against the door. Pain immediately shoots through your entire foot as the door makes a thudding sound.
Decision 1; You grab your foot in agony and jump around. The first words from your mouth, “#!@%$&*”. That was so sore! A swear word was the only way to alleviate a little pain.
Decision 2; You grab your foot in agony, fall to the floor and for some reason you blow it as if it will heal your foot. The first words from your mouth are carefully planned, “Ouch! That is so sore!” You continue blowing for some reason, and get up to answer the call.
Decision 3; ‘Cowboys don’t cry’ your grandfather always said. You try to keep a straight face, say nothing, and just go answer the call with your face betraying you.
Ending; the manager says you got the job! You will start working next month. Yay! Now the waiting and the pain in your toe is all worth it.
Why is swearing bad? Well, for starters, Jesus never swore. But, it is a little more complicated than that…
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
Somehow, Decision 1 doesn’t quite fit this verse. And somehow swearing doesn’t fit into that verse either.
Decision 2 & 3 are much better. Decision 2 is a clean outburst of pain. Decision 3 is in a sense unhealthy. Keeping back tears can lead to unhealthy mind. Crying was made as a coping mechanism, do it often.
So… think twice before you open your mouth to swear again… is it pure, lovely, of any virtue? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think so…
So… think twice before you open your mouth to swear again… is it pure, lovely, of any virtue? I don’t know about you, but I don’t think so…